Not Strong Enough, All That was Good has Died
by Yami-Red-Uchiha
Summary: A different spin on Naruto. Kinda got my idea from Soul Eater, but it's more my own than anything. Summary inside. Harem, anal, yaoi, hetero, angst, hurt/comf, and a lot of other things.


Summary: Naruto's heart was tied to Sasuke's for a long time, he finally broke free, but not undamaged. And Naruto isn't all that he seems either. What sets him so far apart from every other ninja? Everyone knows that he'll go through a type of phase about once a month where he's not really himself. What the hell? Who is Naruto exactly and why does he have friends in high places that not even the Hokage knows?

Disclaimer: Do I own Naruto? If I did, would I be living in the US, typing fanfictions, while trying to do something amazing with my life? Fuck no I don't own Naruto. Do I wish I did? You can bet your ass I want to keep Naruto, Itachi, and Gaara. Everyone else is up for grabs. Except for Sakura and Sasuke. I want the pleasure of torturing them.

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'_I can never get away from you, not completely. It's like you have my soul tied to yours and there isn't anything I can do to break it. I'm just not strong enough to get away. There's something about you that my heart knows that is still uncorrupt, although I have never personally seen it. You've got my heart so wrapped up around the very fabric of you, if I even try to get away from you, you seem to pull my heart to it's knees. Is it some kind of magic? Is it some form of trickery? A forbidden jutsu that you stole from the secret library? I just can't get away from you! Like a moth, I'm drawn into your flame. I've gone to different people, the doctors, the witches that specialize in this kind of magic, I even went to the clanspeople who might have a clue. But they all had one simple answer- it was love._

_ How can I love you? You, who is so completely and indefinitely evil. You, who is so wrapped up in someone's grand plan to become immortal, no matter the cost! Why, Sasuke? Why do you have my heart and soul so tightly bound to you? I haven't seen nor heard from you in a few years, and yet I am totally and irrevocably consumed by you! Just the mere THOUGHT of you gets my blood boiling. But you would go off and sleep around, getting your jollies off with anything that has legs and a dick between their legs, while I stay behind and faithful. Look at what this love has done to me! I'm running haggard, trying to figure out why you are doing the things that you are, trying to understand why you do them, and what they have that I don't. I don't get it.'_

I wrote that to my then lover more than ten years ago. I was fifteen, he was eighteen. We were both legal adults in the world. Uchiha Sasuke had defined every part of who I was. I thought he was the one I was meant to spend my life with. Of course, I was still a child, maybe not in the eyes of the law, but in my heart and mind I still was. I thought I knew everything about love, everything about how to care for you and your mate. I was wrong then, and I don't doubt that I'm still as naïve about it as I was then like I am now. I never looked for another romantic relationship since Sasuke, not since he came to me and forever cut off ties with me. Now I'm almost 26, a seasoned killer, ANBU operative, and trying to drown out the pain of the past with the screams of those who die before my blade, Kuroi-Chi or Black Blood.

I have realized a while ago that I have a darker side to my soul that revels in the agonized screams, the tortured cries, the broken whimpers of those who wished to end my life. I have not allowed it to control the rest of me, however. I do notice when that part of me wants to come out and play. I will start to have bone chilling thoughts, images, and ideas on how to perform a certain movement on the next poor victim that crossed my path so I have started to physically warn people by what I'm wearing. If my mood becomes dark and sadistic, I'll start to wear purple and grey colors; when it's about half there I'll add brown to the mix along with a few special kunai. But when I'm totally in that dark state of my soul, I will wear nothing but purple, black, and red. My shirt would be purple, my pants black, and I'd wear a black and red trench coat. As shoes, they'd be the standard shinobi sandals except they'd have small amounts of purple, black, and red sewn into them. No one messes with me when I'm in that type of mood.

Ah, friends. I'm shocked I still have some from the rookie nine. Nara Shikamaru and Hyuuga Neji for two, who're dating by the way, Akamichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino, those two just got engaged, make four, and Hyuuga Hinata as my last friend from the rookie group. Outside of them I've got Subaku no Gaara and his 'siblings' Temari and Kankuro from the village of Suna. My old sensei Hatake Kakashi and Iruka, those two finally got together about four years ago and just married a few months ago, Other than that it was the Hokage and three of the Akatsuki, surprisingly enough. Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame, and Akasuna no Sasori. They were all I had to fight for, all I had to live for. Otherwise I'd let the evil in my soul take over and I would become that which I don't want to name.

My soul, you see, was cursed the day I was born. A ninja, trained in the Unholy arts, cast a spell, which is very different than a jutsu, on my parents and I. If I were to ever become a ninja, my father would die. My mother died the day after I was born. It was my dream as a young child to be the best ninja in the village and my father wasn't going to make me suffer so he could live. So he hunted down the ninja who did this to his son and family, knowing that the day that I set foot into the ninja academy, he would cease to exist. He found the ninja, killed them, and then came back to me shortly before I went to the academy. No one knew of my cursed soul until the last year at the academy. No one knew why my father died, except for the Third Hokage, the Konoha council members, and a handful of the shinobi, not including the ANBU, and myself. I knew because my father told me. He told me that the person who cursed my soul was a friend of my mother's. He said that when she was passing me over to my mother, she quickly laid her spell. When my mother had me in her arms, she felt the strength drain from her body. Before she died, she told my father to take care of me, to not hate what it seemed like I did something, but to look at the witch that passed me to her and knew that my mother was going to die anyway. Either way, I lost both of my parents to that witch. Half of my soul was human and mortal, the other half was a nine-tailed fox demon and immortal; my greatest secret, my greatest fear, my greatest pain, and my greatest shame.


End file.
